New Beginnings

I've come to the realization that life is about to begin. Things are changing all around me, which must mean that I'm also changing.

Some of my best friends graduated high school last week. That was the first shock. They're no longer in high school, no longer in the youth group, and no longer going to be around all the time. The precious time that I've had with them will become less and less, unless we decide to do something about it. It makes me realize how much I love them and how much I have taken them for granted. The times I will get to spend will them are special, I just have to really cherish them.

Them graduating means that I'm a senior. Which means in one year I will be preparing to go to college. Before I know it, I'll be getting married, finding a career, and having kids. Wow. Talk about a wake up call. It's exciting to think that I'll be taking all these big steps soon and getting on with the rest of my life. I can't wait to see what God will be doing with my life and the lives of all my friends, but it's scary to know that everything will be different.

Everything that has seemed so far in the future is about to happen. My sister's wedding is in a week, we'll be leaving for Guatemala in less than a month, and then senior year begins. Just thinking about all of it is very overwhelming.

It's made me realize the importance of prayer. I always think that there's so much time to do everything, so much time for God later in life, or even next week, but the time is now. New beginnings are happening all around, and Christ needs to be in the center of all of it. It's all so exciting, and I can't wait to see how God reveals himself as life really begins.

Big

So one thing that I've discovered over the past week or so is that God is huge. Like bigger than I could have ever imagined. And He has a plan for me that's just as big as He is.

For a few years now I've felt like God was calling me toward music. But for the past few months I've felt like I'm not good enough. I thought that if He was really wanting me to do music He would have given me more talent for it. He would have made it easier for me to be amazing at it.

See, lately, I haven't felt good enough for anything or anyone. So many people have left me, forsaken me, stopped talking to me, that there has to be something wrong with me, right? Maybe if I was just a little bit prettier, a little bit funnier, a little bit smarter, or just a little bit better, these people would still be around and I'd still be as happy as I used to be. Maybe then I could live up to the high expectations everyone seems to have for me.

Or maybe not. Maybe God's made me this way for a specific reason. Maybe I already have everything I need to be great. Maybe, with God's help, I can pursue music. Maybe, God willing, someone will love me enough to stick around someday.

I've realized that God's plan is bigger than I am. He's already using me to affect people, if I just open my eyes and let Him work through me. And, you know, God's plan is bigger than you too. We all just have to have the confidence in ourselves to do what He asks, and the confidence in Him to know that He has everything under control. It's never going to be easy, but that's what makes it so much more rewarding. I'm so thankful that God is bigger than I could ever imagine. And He's big enough for you too. =)