Starfield!

So..last week I was able to go see Starfield (aka my favorite band ever!). It was the most amazing concert I've been to of theirs, and I had so much fun! It was my first time trying to take picures of a concert, but I think it worked pretty well. I was right up on the stage, which made it even better. So enjoy the pictures. =)

James, the bass player, who also played the accordian during the acoustic part. It was amazing!

So exciting! The best tour ever! I would encourage anyone to buy this CD..the lyrics and music in general are literally life changing. =)

A Day of Worship

Today has been just a crazy day.

This morning I woke up thinking about See You At the Pole-which of course I've never woken up early enough to go-but it came to my mind and I decided to join my fellow classmates in prayer for our school while in the comfort of my own home. As I was thinking about all those people at school and how few of us Jesus followers there are, I started thinking about the lukewarm. It has always scared me to be lukewarm. The passage about God spitting them out of his mouth--what a terrifying prospect. It shocks me every time I read how it's better to not know God at all than to know Him and be lukewarm. But I came to think about it, and realized that the lukewarm are what give Christians a bad name. I know lately I've been really frustrated with those who have chosen to live their lives in ways apart from God's Word, but prayer is all that we can do.

I started thinking about true worship and what it means to be a Jesus follower and a Christian. I've decided that my new definition of worship is this: to live my life in a way that people can tell who I serve. That way if they ever ask, nobody will be surprised to find out that I am a Christian. I don't want to be one of those people that speaks up at church and says, "my friends are always surprised when I tell them I'm a Christian. I think it's because I'm no different than them." The way I see it, that's not something to be proud of. I want people to take note of the fact that I am different, and that I love God with ALL my heart, mind, soul, and strength. So I spent the morning reading Romans 12:1-2. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world.

It was definitely a wonderful way to start the morning, and I was focused on worshiping God all day. Worshiping in absolutely every aspect of my life. God is so good.

Later in the day I got a phone call from a college that I have applied to. They offered me over a half ride scholarship solely based on academics. It was the craziest, most unexpected phone call I think I've ever gotten. I wasn't seriously considering this university; I just kind of applied on a whim. But now I'm wondering if God has other plans. My future is completely confused in my head at the moment, and I love it. I know that God is completely in control because I am choosing to worship and surrender. I'm on the craziest ride of my life, and all I can do is sit and enjoy. What college I go to and whatever happens after that is in God's hands, and it is the best feeling in the world.

The Fair

As most of you probably don't know, I absolutely love photography. Seeing as last week was the fair, it was the perfect chance to snap some good shots!

Changes, Changes, Changes

Lately I've been pretty overwhelmed just thinking about all the changes going on in my life. Coming back from Guatemala I was faced with so many changes: with my friends, family, church, school, everything. For the first week I barely even talked because it was just too hard to deal with it all. Now that I've adjusted a little bit to those things, I have started thinking about all the other changes coming up in my life.

In October I am planning my first college visit. It's all becoming real to me that I'm really growing up. Sometimes I have to think about getting in the car-it's even unreal that I can drive whoever, whenever, wherever I want. All my life all I've wanted is to grow up. Now that it's happening, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I'm really excited for all the things to come in my life. I'm more confused than I've ever been about what God's plans are, but atleast I can be more obedient without too many expectations. College is a mystery, and I know leaving will be very bittersweet, but I can't wait for the experience. I know I've got a year still before any of that happens, but sending in applications and planning visits is making it all more real. God is good, and I can't wait to see what He does with this life!

The Return

Well, I'm finally writing about the last week we spent in the beautiful Xela, Guatemala. Sorry for the wait!

We were sad to leave Zacapa because of all the amazing people and what they had taught us, but Adrienne and I were especially excited to get back to Xela. It had become like our new home the first 2 weeks we were there, and we were going to be able to return to our family.

On the way, we had to stop at the airport to pick up one member of the team and drop another off. Luckily, some of the family from Xela came and met us there. We were so excited to see them, and it was like we were back where we belonged. We got all situated in the cars, sadly with a little bit of conflict, but then we were on our way.

Some people in the group wanted to go to Antigua on the way, which lengthened the drive by about two hours, but also split it up. Antigua is the tourist center of Guatemala, and it is absolutely beautiful. Antigua in Spanish means "old" or "antique", and the town definitely lives up to its name. There are old buildings everywhere. Because it's so touristy, there are also shops everywhere, but they are filled with the most beautiful fabrics and colors I've ever seen. Adrienne and I weren't too interested in the shopping. We decided to stay and walk around with the family, which meant we got the natives' tour of the city. They knew where all the best views and landmarks were, and I was honored to go around with them. While we were there I was able to talk on the phone with Vicky, our honorary mom in Xela, who made sure to tell me there was banana bread on the table waiting for Adrienne and I. =)
After about an hour or so it was time to finish the trip to Xela. It was probably one of the longest car rides I've ever been on. There were landslides all over the roads, and the group hadn't experienced the curves of the Guatemalan roads yet, so it was definitely an adventure. But when we finally got there we knew we were home. All of the kids were standing outside with flowers, fireworks, and open arms. I think that was one of my favorite moments of the whole trip. All of the hugs and excitement for seeing everyone again was almost worth the leaving for a week. And Vicky wasn't lying..there was plenty of banana bread there for us!

The last week in Xela was one of the best and the hardest weeks of my life. We spent a whole lot of time with the family, but not as much time with the kids as we would have liked. When we walked back into el Hogar for the first time, all the kids ran over and gave us the biggest hugs ever. It was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. We were able to just hang out with them for a while, play guitar, and sing "Jesus Loves Me". All I can say about those kids is they are the strongest, most amazing kids I've ever met. Their stories are so sad..and we were able to learn more that last week and grow even closer to them. We spent a couple days with them that week, just hanging out at the park and playing with them. At church that Sunday we had all the kids there for the first time. They sang and gave a few testimonies in front of church, and it was very emotional for some of them.

Three kids, siblings, had just gotten to the home a few months before. They were Christians before they got to the home, but they were put into it because their mom had died and their dad was a drunk. They weren't even able to go to their mom's funeral because they were already in the government home. It explained so much when we heard that. Just the joy that radiates from them, despite their situations, is super humbling. They were Christians before, and they never lost faith. They can have peace because of the hope they have in Jesus.

We also had the privelege of giving our testimonies at church together. It was nice for the church to hear our stories after knowing us for a little while. They also learned our ages, which helped people a lot. At lunch with all the kids Adrienne was talking to the boys, and they were all making fun of one of them because he had a crush on me. (It was only me because I was younger.) Adrienne asked him how old he was and he was like..20. Probably one of the cutest kids alive. He became my special friend throughout the week. =)

When we weren't spending time with the kids, we were hanging out with the family. It was great having the experience of living with them for 2 weeks already, because when we got back it was like we were really family. Adrienne and I both connected with the kids more than we ever had, especially with the oldest boy, Pablo. He was pretty quiet the first 2 weeks we were there, especially when he didn't know us very well. However, when we were back for the last week, he was totally comfortable around us and didn't hold anything back. We joked a lot with eachother. One of the most fun parts of the whole week was when he taught us how to drive a stick shift. Adrienne had already driven a stick once, but for me it was the first time. For those of you who think it's hard to learn a stick, try learning it in Spanish on the roads in Guatemala. Plus the 18-year-old Pablo was way too confident that we could drive well, so he took us out on the roads right away. I went first. Let me restate that it was my FIRST time EVER driving a stick, and although I can hold a conversation in Spanish, my brain doesn't process it fluently, especially under pressure. He drove down the road a little, and then just said "your turn". I was honestly terrified that not everyone in that car would survive the night. So I drove for a little bit, and was finally getting the hang of it, when he said "ok now turn around." I thought I had misunderstood, but unfortunately he was serious. My heart started beating a million miles a minute, and I was trying to stay calm and understand what he was trying to tell me. It took me about 10 tries to finally get the car turned around. Luckily everyone was laughing the whole time, or it could have been a very ugly situation. Adrienne then took over the drivers seat and drove home perfectly...show off. When we got back upstairs with everyone Pablo proceeded to tell everyone about my driving and how there were 8 cars backed up just waiting for me to finish turning around. (He lied..there were only 3.) I don't think I'll ever live that one down..but he did let me drive again.

The Wednesday before we left the church went out for a special night of volleyball, as a kind of farewell game. Adrienne and I were of course stoked to go play one last time, and the night was great. The people in the church were so supportive and loving. I know that we will never forget them. Saying goodbye was hard, but I couldn't stay sad for long because Pablo let me drive home. I got us back without stalling..but of course I heard "I'm so glad we're still alive! Do you have all your fingers?" and such when we got back. Those boys became some of our best friends, and you can't have friends without having atleast some teasing.

Some other highlights of the week were Lake Atitlan and the government waterpark, Xocomil. I would love to tell you all about it..but this blog is already long enough. However, ask me in person, and the stories will come out. =)

The end of the week came way too quickly. We had to say goodbye to all the kids in the home and the family. They were some of the hardest goodbyes I've ever made. With the kids, I don't know if I'll ever see some of them again. Even if we were to go back to Guatemala, some of them might be in new homes or back with their families. I know Adrienne will agree with me that they are never far from our minds, and if you ever think about it, they need your prayers. Saying goodbye to the family was just as difficult. They truly have become our family, and I can only hope that we will be able to visit them again soon. Luckily we have been able to stay in contact with some of them, but it's more difficult with the language barrier.

Thank you all so much for supporting us through this trip. It was, hands down, the best experience of my life. There were definitely days I wanted to just go home, but those were the times I learned the most. The people we met changed me forever. I learned just how important God needs to be in my life, I learned how important relationships are, and I learned what love really is. God has become #1, family #2, other relationships #3, and everything else comes later. I know that the month we spent in Guatemala would not have been possible without all your support and prayers. I only hope that someday we can find a way to repay you.

Zacapa

For those who have been waiting for me to update this blog, I'm sorry it has taken so long. I've started writing many times and haven't been able to finish. There's so much that happened in the last 2 weeks in Guatemala, and coming home has been one of the most overwhelming things I've ever experienced. But I will do my best to explain how the last 2 weeks in Guatemala were, and I hope it's been worth the wait!

The Tuesday after we wrote last the family took us out for the morning to see Xela in a new light. They took us up to a mountain that overlooked the whole city. The view was absolutely incredible, and we felt honored to have been taken there with our new family. We then went to the city park and walked around while the family pointed everything out to us. It was a lot of fun just to get out and enjoy the city, but soon it was time to work. That afternoon we went with Josias back to his house for the girls' after school program. We learned that a lot of times he picks the kids up from school and brings them back to his house for some cool down time before they have to go back to the government home to do their homework. It was good to be able to relax and play games with them before we had to say goodbye for the week. But eventually the goodbyes came, because we would be meeting up with the group on Wednesday and going to Zacapa, a town about 8 hours to the North.

If you're looking for a place in Guatemala to vacation, I have one piece of advice: don't go to Zacapa. The weather is how I imagine hell to be. It was the hottest place I've ever been, not because of the heat, but because of the humidity. I've decided it's better to be in Phoenix than in Zacapa. To make things worse, the mosquitoes and other bugs never leave you alone. But not everything about Zacapa is terrible. The people there taught me more than I've ever learned in such a short amount of time.

We stayed at the home of Pastor Orlando, who, sadly, we didn't get to know very well. The program in the government home there is very similar to the one in Xela, with Josias and Pastor German's brother Jacobo behind it all. The home itself is a little bigger, and there are more kids with more room to run around. Our week with them was spent eating lots of pizza and ice cream, going to the zoo, and swimming in Jacobo's little pool.

For us the work was a little repetitive, but for the kids that came with us every day it was an exciting adventure. One thing that I was surprised with was how attached I got to these kids after only one week. I didn't think I would become all that close to the Zacapa kids because I had already spent 2 weeks with the ones in Xela. One kid in particular, Yeifer, was Adrienne and I's little miracle boy. He was 10 years old, now has turned 11 since we've been home, and is the little nerdy boy with glasses that gets picked on by all the big boys. But, his look was deceiving. On the inside, he is one of the strongest little boys I've ever met, with an extremely sad story. He doesn't have parents, and all his siblings are living in a house without him. He was their caretaker, the oldest, and I have a feeling he was doing everything he could to earn money to support them. This led him to getting involved with drug smuggling. He told me that one day he was walking with his "friend" when the police stopped them, put both of them in handcuffs, and asked Yeifer why he was walking with this guy. They found drugs in one of their pants, I didn't understand whether they were in Yeifer's or the other guy's. Either way, the police brought Yeifer to the government home, away from his younger siblings and the only family he had left.

I thought that since Yeifer had been through so much, he had all the excuses in the world not to love anyone. He could understandably be a bitter, angry, violent little boy. But he wasn't. The first day that Adrienne and I met him, he was drawn to our guitars. It didn't matter what song we were playing, he just wanted to listen to the music. Throughout the week we grew very attached. The day we left was one of the hardest goodbyes I've made in my life thus far.

I'm not sure where Yeifer is right now. He was going to be moved to an all boys home. This home would be more violent, and a lot harder for him. There were tears forming in his eyes as he told me that he wouldn't be there next year if and when we came again. Please pray for Yeifer and all the rest of the kids of Zacapa. They all taught me a lot about unconditional love and what that means in my life.

The other person in Zacapa that taught me about love was Jacobo. There was a night that we all sat down to do a devotional, and it turned into a tear fest. Jacobo, Josias, and German's mother had died just a few short months before we came, and this night Jacobo broke down talking about it. Immediately almost everyone around was in tears, and Adrienne and I were especially teary thinking about our uncle.

Jacobo then went on to talk about his dad. When they were little, his dad was a very angry, bitter man. They were very poor, and his dad sometimes took his stress out on the kids. Not physically, but verbally. He wasn't a very loving dad. But that didn't stop Jacobo from loving his dad. Today, his dad is a very changed man. We were able to spend a lot of time with him in Xela, and grew to love the little old deaf man. Jacobo taught us a lesson about unconditional love that night. He taught us the importance of loving our family, no matter what they may have done. For me, it was an eye-opening, life changing night.

Although it was hard to leave Xela and hard to be in Zacapa, I am very thankful for the week we spent there. I don't think I would have learned as much from staying in Xela. I personally needed to meet Yeifer and Jacobo. I needed to learn about unconditional love to everyone around me, especially my family. God has truly blessed me, and He blessed the week we had with these amazing people.

Our last week in Xela will be coming...I think this is long enough already. =)

A Week in the Life

Well...I can't say this week has been too exciting, but here it goes.

On Tuesday after we finished the blog we went and sorted and handed out clothes at el Hogar. There were 25 new boys that were taken off the streets and brought to the home because they had been used by their parents for money, so we went to give them underwear and everything because they didn't have anything but the clothes on their backs. It was a very chaotic hand out, and sad to see that they had been so hurt. Tuesday night we came back to the Residence and had a Bible study thing at their house. There were about 35 people there. Of course we couldn't understand much, and both of us were still shocked and mourning the loss of our uncle. But then the first verse they looked at was 1 Thesselonians 5:16, which simply says "Be joyful always". Definitely not what either of us wanted to read, but it was convicting. After the Bible study we had a girls' night here, because all of the boys were gone with dad doing a visit to a nearby village. It was refreshing and relaxing: exactly what we needed.

Wednesday was equally uneventful. We woke up thinking that we would be teaching English, but it turns out all of the kids had exams. So we spent the morning doing what we do best: sleeping. That afternoon we sat down with Josias and Pastor German while they were working out the scheduling for when the group gets here. Vicky was there the whole time, and she gave me the job of translating recipes. If you've never tried to translate a recipe to a different language, it's hard. It took about 25 minutes of me saying I have no idea how to translate cups and teaspoons into pounds and ounces for them to tell me they had American measuring cups! Definitely a relief, but still finding all of the names for the ingredients and everything took a while. Luckily Adrienne and big brother Pablo were here to help read me the English ingredients and make sure I wrote flour instead of spiders. After a while we went back to Josias' house and picked up Candy to go shopping for refreshments for the kids. We ended up going to the biggest market in the city. There were a ton of venders and the streets were crowded with people. It was an experience to remember. After shopping we were dropped back off at the Residence and hung out here for the night.

Thursday was one of the best days so far. It started off with us going to Candy and Josias' house in the morning and helping Candy prepare the snacks for the kids. We weren't really sure how to do anything she told us, so peeling coconuts and a million peaches turned into an all morning activity. Adrienne learned the proper way to use a knife, and now is able to peel peaches like a pro. I tried... but I'm just not made out to be a peach peeler. We also made coconut ice cream. It's been cool to see how they make things here instead of going out to the store and buying it. Candy just put the coconut into a blender-type thing, added a ton of milk and sugar, and more sugar, and PRESTO! Ice cream. After being frozen of course. We worked at peeling while Candy prepared lunch, which she promised we were going to love. She packed it all up in tupperware and waited for Josias to get home. We thought that she just packed it for us to go to el Hogar, but little did we know they had a plan for us. I think they could tell on Tuesday and Wednesday that we were in pretty bad shape after the news about Uncle Shorty, and they wanted us to have a fun day. We all got in the van and drove for a while to a little village called Toto. Candy's mom lives there, so we went to her house, one of the biggest I've been in. We thought that it was apartments at first, but really it all belonged to them. While we were waiting for lunch to finish, we were able to explore the upstairs and roof from which the whole village can be seen clearly. Definitely a cool sight to see. Lunch consisted of a broccoli pasta cassorole thing, and it was absolutely delicious. Candy has proven herself to be a super good cook. After lunch Josias took us out to the little market where there's more touristy things to buy. It was a little surreal walking around this little Guatemalan village and seeing how the culture really is. We went back to the house after walking around and they handed us the computer. That's when we knew that this day was planned for us. So we showed them some pictures of our family and the wedding and everything, and it was time to head back. When we got back we had a church service that ended up just being a play of the book of Esther. It was a nice relaxing day, and great to know that they were really thinking of us and wanted us to have a fun time.

Friday was an adventure. We spent all day with the kids from el Hogar. In the morning we took the boys out to play soccer, and ended up just watching them play against a team from one of the schools here. They were really excited to play an actual game. It was cute and touching to see how Josias coached them and encouraged them and prayed with them even when they lost pretty badly. Unfortunately, we weren't able to see the whole game. They played with 11 kids on the field, and we brought 13 to the sports complex, so it was Adrienne and I's job to watch the 2 extra boys. It was fun for a while, and the boys were good, but then they got restless. There were holes in the fence that they could climb through, and once they got tired of us climbing through them is exactly what they did. One of the kids started by just taunting us on the other side of the fence, but then he climbed through the fence on that side and started running. Of course the other boy followed. Adrienne took off after them. After a minute or so I decided I should probably go too, so I started running in the general direction that they went. I saw them turn the corner, so I went off that way too, but then they were gone. I ran around the entrance area for a while, but I still couldn't find them. I was honestly terrified that they were out on the streets and Adrienne got kidnapped or something. But then I saw them through a locked fence on the track. Adrienne was literally dragging them down the track, one in each hand. I tried to call to her..but of course there's so many Guatemalan people with the name Adrienne...not. All the fences were locked to get to the track, but eventually I got her attention and was able to get down there right when one of the boys broke loose and took off running. I was luckily able to catch him, and we headed back to where the group was. Luckily my kid was more cooperative than Adrienne's, because she had to carry him. It was a nice start to the hectic day. We took the kids back to el Hogar, went back to Josias' for lunch, and were back on the road to el Hogar for the babies. They call them the babies, but really they're babies and toddlers. We took 9 of them, 2 for each of us and 1 for Josias and Candy's 6-year-old son, to the zoo and to a mall for them to play games. The zoo was crazy. Firstly, it's free, and anyone can just walk in. Secondly, they have some intense animals. Thirdly, the monkeys weren't caged. They just stood in their little area and for some reason stayed there. There was a moat-type thing around their area, which I guess keeps them there, but still. It was crazy to see. It started raining some so we hopped back into the van and headed to the mall. While we were walking in there was a lady that was staring at us dragging all these little kids, and I guess she felt bad for them because she gave Josias 100 Qs to buy them a snack. So after a long adventure to the bathroom, Josias and Candy left us with all the kids around a table to buy food. I'm stating right now that I will never have 9 kids. Way too nerveracking. Anyways, they ate and we headed over to the games, and they rode in this carousel helicopter thing. It was fun to see how happy they were just riding in this little game. After we were done there we headed back to el Hogar to drop them off, and then to Josias and Candy's for about 20 minutes until we went back to el Hogar for Friday night devotional. We played our guitars and sang with the kids, and by the time we were done we were all ready to rest. So we came back to the Residence, ate dinner, and finally went to bed.

Saturday. (I promise this won't be as long as Friday). We started off taking the boys, 19 of them, to the hot springs to swim. There is a song that Josias plays for the kids in the van about Jonah, and by the time we arrived to the hot springs we had heard it 4 times in a 30 minute ride. But we had already heard it enough on Friday to know the words and want to die every time we heard it. Josias said he'd burn us a CD of it. I think I'll burn it when I get home. But anyways, we arrived at the hot springs, and it was really cool to see. The pools were all steaming because they were so hot, and by the time we left the steam was so heavy you couldn't see but 20 feet in front of you. It also started raining, but the steam hid it. After swimming for a couple hours, we took the kids back to el Hogar and came back to the Residence. We showered and got all dry and warm and then just hung out here for the day/night.

Sunday was a busy day. We woke up and helped the girls and Vicky prepare lunch for the church. They made tortillas while Adrienne and I poured the drinks into little cups. We then ate breakfast (with cold milk...yes!) and headed upstairs where Vicky was going to get us into typical Guatemalan clothing. We ended up in bright pink and fushia. It was quite the ceremony just getting into the clothing, and to say the least it was hard to breathe. But I think they were really excited that we actually wore it, so that was good. During Sunday service Adrienne and I played and sang the hymn "As the Deer", and then Pastor and Sara joined us singing it in Spanish. I think the church was excited to see it, so it was fun. Then it was time for Sunday School with the kids. Adrienne went with Sara to help in the toddlers class, and I went with Candy to teach the big girls class. I'm just thankful that these girls had already heard me try and fail to teach them the story of Noah's Ark in Spanish, because I tried to teach them the story of the birth of Isaac, and I think the lesson altogether was about 3 minutes. It's definitely been challenging to try and give lessons to these kids. But we got through it, and got out about an hour and a half later when church ended. We then squeezed all the kids into the van so Josias could take them back to el Hogar. There were atleast 30 kids, girls and toddlers, plus Josias, Adrienne and I, Candy's mom, her little helper, and Josias' little boy in a 12 passenger van. I don't think I've ever been more squished in my life. But afterwards we headed back to the Residence for lunch and hung out for a little bit. Around 5 we went to play volleyball with the church. Sara made a bet with me that Adrienne and I would be some of the first ones picked for teams, and now I have to buy her something, so we'll see how that goes. But anyways, it was a lot of fun just playing. Adrienne and I were on the same team and were able to run a 1, which I think was really surprising to everyone. Definitely the best part of the night. When we finished we walked back to the Residence, and Adrienne and I thought that we would be cooking dinner, but it ended up already being made. So we ate and stayed around the living room for a while just talking and hanging out until bed.

Today has been pretty uneventful. Pastor German and Vicky are gone to Guatemala City for the day to buy groceries and things for when the group gets here, so we're here at the house with all the kids. We woke up and ate breakfast and then slept a little, read a little, and talked to people online some. Then it was time to make lunch. Since we didn't make dinner last night we had to make lunch today, but it was just hamburgers. Adrienne cut up all the fixings and made the french fries while I put together the patties and started to cook them. It turned out well, I think all the kids liked it, and we've just been hanging out since then. And writing this blog, which has turned out to be way longer than I thought..sorry about that.

The group from Sierra Grace gets here on Wednesday, and we're going to be leaving Xela for Zacapa. It's going to be a completely different place and a completely different dynamic. I don't know if it's better or worse, just a lot different. Our days will be scheduled and filled with things to do and people to see. I'm excited to see what happens in our last 2 weeks here in Guatemala. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. They have definitely been felt, and God has been working here in us and through us. I'm not sure that we will have computer access for the rest of our time here, but I promise to tell you all about everything when we return to the states. Thank you all again, and we'll see you in a little over 2 weeks!

Here's Adrienne!

It's hard to believe that we have already been gone for two weeks. At the same time it feels like we have been here forever already. I have learned a whole lot and continue to be challenged with how I live my life. I have been humbled and touched by the work that we are doing here in Xela. I was nervous about being with the boys in the Government Home so much. I am not exactly sure what I was nervous about, but I was for some reason. I have been humbled by hearing stories about each one of these kids. There a couple of the boys that I really want to bring home with me, to have a family and a safe place where they have the opportunity to learn. There is one kid who is in the "baby/toddler" room because of his size. He tells me that he is 2 years-old. When you hear him talk and how able and willing he is to have a conversation, you can tell that he's not 2 years-old. Candy told Angela and I that he was 7 or 8 years old. He is no longer able to grow, and because of his size, he is placed in this toddler room, where he is not able to have any schooling. (I don't quite understand the schooling system that they have there at the Government home. All I know is that it isn't much to start out with). This past week there were 25 more boys taken off the street and brought to the government home. That was heart breaking. To go into this place, see these kids, and know that we couldn't really do much except be present. I have learned through the past year or so that presence is essential, and that presence means a ton. I'm sure it does to these kids as well, however, I have felt convicted. I can be present for 3 weeks here in Xela and then I leave. Then what happens? It's another person in their life, who has now left. This is not how I want my life to be. I want to be a witness to others, while being present and reliable as the years continue. It has been difficult for me to see these kids, get somewhat attached to a couple of them, and now have to leave. With that said, I am looking forward to what the future has in store for me. I am scared to death. I think that I have realized how scared I am about finishing school, having bills, and living in the real world. I have also realized though through this summer that I have been called to do some kind of Missionary work. To what capacity and when, I am not exactly sure, but I do believe that it is something that will happen in my life. I have just been thinking a whole lot. It is hard to put everything into words, especially since I am not the best at writing, but I am learning and growing. I am very thankful to have Angela here with me (and her skill of language, Spanish). It has been a great adventure so far. I don't think that I have laughed so hard so often ever to be honest. I love sitting around the table with 13 other people and laughing and having a good time for at least an hour every meal. Some of the best memories have come from that time together. It has been an adventure and I am looking forward to the next couple weeks as we are challenged and grow even more. God is faithful. The people that we have met here have been willing and able to share in their experiences as well, especially in this past week as Angela and I have both had emotional lows and emotional highs. It's been a good week. I look forward to the time ahead! Thank you all for your prayers!

If we don't get a chance to update this in the next few weeks, we will see you all back in the USA! Thank you so much for everything, this trip would not be possible without all your support!

Lost In Translation

Well, before I begin, I will explain the titles of the last entry and this one. Last one, the land of eternal spring, is a bit self explanitory. But here in Guatemala it is winter (which did not even cross my mind until we got here). Yet the weather is high 60s-mid 70s. Thus, Guatemala is called the land of eternal spring, because here in Xela it is perfect weather year-round. This title, lost in translation, should be obvious. Here in Guatemala they speak Spanish, and my 4 years and Adrienne's 2 years are getting us by, but a lot of things get lost in translation. The other night the family tried to tell us a joke, and I got the meaning of most of it, but I didn't get how it was funny whatsoever. But it made it even more funny, and started a huge laughing fit that ended with everyone in tears, not understanding why we were all laughing.

I will begin where we left off. Friday after we wrote on here we went to the market with Josias and Candy. We ended up going to 2 supermarkets and 1 street market for all the supplies that were needed. It is definitely an experience to go to a market here. There are fresh fruits and vegetables everywhere, and a lot of them are things we had never seen before. It was fun watching how Candy shopped and bargained and got everything she needed. After we were done shopping, we went back to their house to put everything back and then went to the government home: el Hogar. On Friday nights Josias gives a devotional to all the kids there, and Adrienne and I got the chance to play some guitar for the music. Adrienne also taught the kids Jesus Loves Me in English so that when the group meets up with us the kids can surprise them with their English. It was a pretty cool experience. Saturday morning we woke up nice and late and after eating breakfast headed back to el Hogar. This time we were taking the girls out for a fun day at the park. But Adrienne and I had to take care of the lesson. We started by trying to teach all the kids Yo Tengo Gozo and Aunque No Marche, fun kid songs that we've learned from Mexico in years past. It went alright, but wasn't as smooth as I would have hoped. Then it was time for the Bible story, Noah's Ark. We had a busy day on Friday, so I had nothing really planned. I knew what story I was going to tell, and Adrienne came up with the idea to have all the kids make animal sounds when I said certain animals, but that's about as much as I knew to do. To say the least, telling a Bible story in Spanish is easier said than done. But I got through it. I'm not sure if the kids understood anything I said, but it was worth a try. Afterwards we played futbol (soccer), volleyball, and basketball with the girls for a while. It then started to rain (which it does almost every day), so we left the park and took the girls back to el Hogar. After lunch we discovered that Saturday was everyone's day off. There wasn't much to do here at the Residence, so we just played games and relaxed. We also went to the store with Pastor German and Vicky and some of the girls to get supplies for Sunday's dinner expedition. But more about that later. Saturday night we just hung out and had dinner. The meals here are some of the best I've ever had. Not because of the food (some of it is hard to eat, but some of it is amazing), but because of the company. This family loves eachother so much, and they are just so much fun. Almost every meal ends with all of us in tears from laughing so hard. Sunday morning we woke up for church at about 7:30, not knowing that the service didn't start until 9:30. But anyways, we had breakfast, rested for a bit, and went off to church. It's definitely a whole different world of church here. We had gone to 2 services already, but neither was like this Sunday service. It was the longest service I'd ever been to at a whopping 2 hours and 45 minutes. It was really cool to see how they worship, it was just a lot different from anything I've ever seen before. There is more praying than is ever done in our services, more singing than is ever done in our services, and more sermon than I'd ever heard before. But then again, they had plenty of time for all of it. At times it was a little strange, but it's just not what we're used to. Anyways, Sunday afternoon was very relaxed with sleeping and journaling until dinner. We ended up making pizza, with pre-made crusts. A young guy from the church came over and made an additional crust, so we ended up having 6 pizzas. There was definitely a lot of leftovers, and I'm sure there still are. But the pizza was edible, and we tricked everyone into thinking that we actually knew how to cook. I think now we have to cook again next Sunday, but we're hoping we can do hamburgers, so stay tuned for that fun. Nevertheless, thank you for your prayers; dinner was a success. After dinner was the best part of the day. We went and played volleyball with people from the church. It's something they do every Sunday night, and Adrienne and I were expecting it to be just a little wimpy game. When we got there, we realized that some of those people really knew what they were doing, and we put our game faces on. We were laughed at quite a bit, but I think that everyone was surprised that the white girls could play. We played for about 2 hours, and didn't get back to the Residence until around midnight, but it was definitely worth it. Yesterday started out as a really good day. Mondays are our day off from going to el Hogar, so we were able to just stay back and relax. After breakfast we went back to bed until lunch (we eat ALL the time here), so we were able to get caught up on sleep from the night before. After lunch we had our first round of English lessons for the kids here at the Residence. It was a lot of fun to see how much they knew and try to help them pronounce everything. Hearing them pronounce English words is one of the best parts of every day. They've learned the phrase "oh, man", and it always brings a laugh to hear them say it. Lessons ended with them teaching us some new Spanish words. They were supposed to continue studying after, but we ended up sitting and talking to them about every teenage girl's favorite subject: boys. We learned how dating and marrying happen here, atleast in the church, and to say the least it's very different from home. But if you're interested, we can explain when we get home. There was a huge storm last night, and so we sat in the living room after talking and read while they studied. Then it was time for dinner. Almost every meal consists of fresh fruits and/or vegetables, sometimes prepared in different ways than we're used to, but usually it's delicious. Last night was no exception. During dinner they asked us a little about our family, and they asked us if we had Skype so that we could skype with our mom. We were very excited to get to talk with everyone, but soon it changed from a great night to the worst night here.

This whole trip God has been convicting me with Jeremiah 29:11. Yesterday was the first day that I really felt like I could do this, like I could trust Him to take care of everything at home and enjoy every moment here. And then last night came a huge shock; my uncle had died. There's something very unreal about hearing news like that and having to compose yourself enough to ask for a phone in Spanish and explain everything that happened. This is our first death of the family, and to have it happen while we're so far away has been one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with. We're having to trust even more that God knows what He's doing, that He has a plan, a good plan, to prosper and not to harm.

To say the least, today has been a hard day. Fortunately we were able to Skype with the family, but now trying to give English lessons and keep composed isn't easy. I know that we will be fine, but thinking about not being able to be with our family through this time is terrible. Please be praying for them. We are going to be fine here in Guatemala. God has us here for a reason, and I have already learned so much in the short week that we've been here. Our family needs your prayers.

Uncle Shorty, I'm sorry I didn't take the time out to really talk to you before we left. You tried to talk to me, and I didn't pay much attention. I never thought it would be the last time we would get the change to talk.

Our family, we love you. I hope that you're all doing well and resting in Jeremiah 29:11 through this time. Thank you for your love, know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Until next time...

Guatemala: Nuestra Hogar Nueva

Adrienne: We are here in Guatemala. It was quite the trip. We left the house after a lot of laughter and packing and re-packing bags multiple times to try and figure everything out. We flew from Sacramento, to Houston, to Guatemala City. When we arrived here in Guatemala City, Josias and Candy, our new parents slash friends slash mentors, all of the above, were there to pick us up. (Typing on a spanish keyboard is more difficult than you would think). We then drove between 4 and 5 hours here to Xela. We arrived and were immediatly shown ¨The Residence¨. It is a beautiful home! We are blessed to have a place like this to come to everyday and have friends and new family surrounding us at all times. We had some time to rest and shower and then church. I am thankful that our first day was exactly this. We began, before we really knew the names of all the people in the house, starting with God. This is PERFECT! Day two started out a little later so we could sleep in some, I was excited to be told this. We hung out in the house, the pastors house, reading, playing a game of volleyball with the family, which consists of 8 kids, plus us. We had lunch together and then Josias came and picked us up to take us to the Government home for the first time. The 3 boys, Josias and Candy, and Angela and I all painted the boys room. This room holds at least 30 bunk beds where all the boys are able to sleep, or attempt to anyway. We were told that at times it is difficult for many of the boys to sleep at night because they are all there together. Some wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares, and some of the mentally disabled kids have a hard time as well. It was difficult to hear this. Here I am, desiring to have my own room a lot of the time. I do not have to share a room with 29 other people, whose pasts haunt them day in and day out. We returned back to the house after we had completed painting and cleaned up for dinner. After dinner was one of my favorite things that have happened yet. We all gathered together. Angela and I had our guitars, and we all sang together. Angela and I sang a couple songs, and then with the assistance of the piano, they sang a few songs with prayer in between. Wow! The pastor and his wife, who are in charge of all of these 8 kids, have it so right. The day begins, goes on, and ends with Christ. It was amazing. Later that night, Angela and I were still sitting in the living room with our guitars and in walks in the oldest daughter with a special someone. They both got out their violins and together we played Amazing Grace. It was exciting. Best thing yet. Day three began with breakfast, and going back to the Government home with Josias to paint some of the girls room. This time there was only the 3 of us, so it took a little while longer, but just as good. We stopped for lunch, with a 20 minute nap or so, and then were back to the Government home along with some help from the girls at the residence. We finished the Girls bedroom and then came back and cleaned up quickly because there was a celebration to get to! Jenny, one of the girls that we are living with, turned 16. We had a great dinner, and then off to church. This church service was unique. It did not consist of the usual song and sermon, but instead was of games and fun. We were broken up into groups. Of course, Angela and I were seperated. I was just thinking to myself, 'Great, not only can I not fully understand anything that is being said, but the person who kinda does and can tell me is off in another group'. It turned out totally fine, and was a lot of fun! Church ended and we were back to the house (about 15 yards away from the church). What was going to be an early night, turned out to be an even better night into the later hours. We had the opportunity to chat with another one of the girls in the home with us. We learned a lot about her story. I was again reminded of how great God's love for me is. I struggle with this at times. This was a great reminder of how God works when I allow him to work... so let the working continue as we continue in the weeks to come. Today, thus far, we woke up for breakfast, and then were picked up by Josias to go to the Government home. This time, it was for a lot of fun for the kids. We took 6 boys and 6 girls to a sports complex and played games together, which consisted of, Steal the bacon (chicken=pollo), basketball, and soccer. It was a lot of fun. Back to the house for lunch and then preparing for tonight where we will sing and spend time with kids at the Government home. I am excited to get more involved with the kids and see what happens when God is present. I will let Angela fill in all the blanks and write... She is a great writer.

Angela: Well Adrienne already talked about most of the general stuff that we have been doing, so I will fill in with the specifics. To start off, sorry for all of the missing contractions, this keyboard looks like a normal keyboard, but when you try to use special things it appears in Spanish. But it is a computer, and I am very thankful. Anyways, this trip has been amazing so far. The people here are already like our family. We predicted that it would take about a week and a half to really feel comfortable around everyone and get to know people, but it only took about a day. In The Residence there are 4 kids: Sandra, Beata, Jenny, and Jeffrey. They live right next to Pastor German and his wife Vicky, who also have 4 kids: Sara, Pablo, Acsa, and Mosheh. I thought it would be like 2 different places altogether, but they are one big happy family, even if they live in two different homes. It is amazing to see the way that Pastor German and Vicky interact with all the kids. They treat every one of them as their own, and there is no distinction. They have saved the 4 kids from lives of hell, but they do not see it that way. They also have accepted Adrienne and I into the family, and treat us as their kids. It is really cool to see, but it also means that Adrienne and I are cooking on Sunday night. So you can look forward to those fun horror stories. But anyways, it does not feel like we have only been here for 4 days. I honestly cannot believe it has only been that long. We have already done so much and witnessed a ton from the family and the church that it seems like we have been here and have known them forever. I am definitely missing home still, but this has become a second home. The home of Candy and Josias has also been open to us (like now on the computer), and they have taught us more than I could have ever thought. I am very thankful to all of you for this opportunity, and what gets me through in hard times is knowing that you have all been praying and supporting us the whole way. This month is going to be long, but I look forward to returning with a changed heart and plenty of pictures and stories to tell. Until then, we will be trying to communicate this way every once in a while. So thank you all, we love you and miss you a whole heck of a lot. Until next time...

A New Adventure Begins

We leave today. It's unbelievable that this little idea in my head has grown to a reality, and it all begins in about 6 hours. All the doubt and fear of yesterday has gone (or atleast most of it), and I just feel excited to get started. It feels like my life is about to change in a big way, like nothing is going to ever be the same. But it's a good thing.

God is going to transform me in Guatemala. I'm sure of it. I'm ready to let Him work in me, and fix some flaws that have needed to change for a very long time. I can't even imagine how He is going to use Adrienne and I for His kingdom while we're there. As long as we let him. I have no doubt that Adrienne is going to be more than willing to let Him work. I just have to let myself give absolutely everything for Him to do the same in me. I'm happy to say that I think I'm finally ready.

I woke up today knowing that this is the day that everything changes. This is the day I begin the craziest adventure I've ever been on. It's the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken, and I can't wait to see how God catches me.

Preparing To Trust

Well...we leave for Guatemala tomorrow night. I can't say I'm completely ready, and I don't know if I ever could. There are so many emotions going on inside right now. I'm excited, but I'm anxious, I'm nervous, I'm sad to leave everyone behind, I'm skeptical, but I know that God will meet me there. I'm beginning to regret the decision to be gone for a month, it just seems like I'll be there forever. I'm afraid that relationships will develop at home without me, leaving me behind. I'm afraid that relationships won't develop at home, and therefore be broken. I'm afraid that relationships won't develop in Guatemala, and that it will all be a waste. Bottom line is, I'm afraid. I wish I would have just gotten a two week trip. All of these insecurities and fears are coming out because of the overwhelming sound of a month. 32 days. It's a long time.

One of my biggest flaws and problems is that I'm afraid to trust. Everything that's gone on in my family and in my life in general has made it hard for me to put faith in people, because I always expect them to disappoint me. Unfortunately, this has become a problem in my relationship with God. I know that He's God, the all loving all the time Savior, but nobody's perfect right?

This trip has already tested me greatly. I'm learning to trust that God will take care of me while I'm gone. So many people are praying for me, and counting on me to be a missionary for them, it's overwhelming. We've gotten so much support, and I couldn't be more thankful. One of the reasons I'm gaining any courage at all is because of the people behind me. Every time I begin to doubt, God shows up in some form, whether it be through people or nature, reminding me that He has it all under control. For that reason, I'm excited for this trip. I know that it's not going to be easy for me to be gone, but I also know that God is going to be there every step of the way. And He has a reason for me to be in Guatemala. He has a plan for me to grow there in a way that I would be too blind to see here.

So here's to adventure. Here's to learning. Here's to growing. Here's to trusting that God has it all under control.

New Beginnings

I've come to the realization that life is about to begin. Things are changing all around me, which must mean that I'm also changing.

Some of my best friends graduated high school last week. That was the first shock. They're no longer in high school, no longer in the youth group, and no longer going to be around all the time. The precious time that I've had with them will become less and less, unless we decide to do something about it. It makes me realize how much I love them and how much I have taken them for granted. The times I will get to spend will them are special, I just have to really cherish them.

Them graduating means that I'm a senior. Which means in one year I will be preparing to go to college. Before I know it, I'll be getting married, finding a career, and having kids. Wow. Talk about a wake up call. It's exciting to think that I'll be taking all these big steps soon and getting on with the rest of my life. I can't wait to see what God will be doing with my life and the lives of all my friends, but it's scary to know that everything will be different.

Everything that has seemed so far in the future is about to happen. My sister's wedding is in a week, we'll be leaving for Guatemala in less than a month, and then senior year begins. Just thinking about all of it is very overwhelming.

It's made me realize the importance of prayer. I always think that there's so much time to do everything, so much time for God later in life, or even next week, but the time is now. New beginnings are happening all around, and Christ needs to be in the center of all of it. It's all so exciting, and I can't wait to see how God reveals himself as life really begins.

Big

So one thing that I've discovered over the past week or so is that God is huge. Like bigger than I could have ever imagined. And He has a plan for me that's just as big as He is.

For a few years now I've felt like God was calling me toward music. But for the past few months I've felt like I'm not good enough. I thought that if He was really wanting me to do music He would have given me more talent for it. He would have made it easier for me to be amazing at it.

See, lately, I haven't felt good enough for anything or anyone. So many people have left me, forsaken me, stopped talking to me, that there has to be something wrong with me, right? Maybe if I was just a little bit prettier, a little bit funnier, a little bit smarter, or just a little bit better, these people would still be around and I'd still be as happy as I used to be. Maybe then I could live up to the high expectations everyone seems to have for me.

Or maybe not. Maybe God's made me this way for a specific reason. Maybe I already have everything I need to be great. Maybe, with God's help, I can pursue music. Maybe, God willing, someone will love me enough to stick around someday.

I've realized that God's plan is bigger than I am. He's already using me to affect people, if I just open my eyes and let Him work through me. And, you know, God's plan is bigger than you too. We all just have to have the confidence in ourselves to do what He asks, and the confidence in Him to know that He has everything under control. It's never going to be easy, but that's what makes it so much more rewarding. I'm so thankful that God is bigger than I could ever imagine. And He's big enough for you too. =)

Surprises

Life is incredible.

One of the most fun things in the world are surprises. They show love and thoughfulness more than anything. Surprises from people let you know they care. Life's little surprises let you know God cares.

People continue to surprise me. First impressions are proved wrong, good and bad. Sometimes though, they again prove to be right. Some people impress you on the inside. They could be the greatest people, but just don't know how to show it.

I wish that peer pressure didn't exist. They way that it gets to people and changes how they are on the outside has always bothered me. Luckily, the outside doesn't always show everything. Everyone has a story; everyone has been hurt. Everyone has reasons they are who they are on the outside, and not everyone is able to show who they are on the inside.

I'm so thankful for the surprises and the views into people's hearts. Even if it's just a peek, it's great to see how people are on the inside.

The world isn't going to hell. People are still in love with the Savior and Giver of life. We might just have to look further into their hearts to see it.

Consistency

This week I've been learning that life is completely inconsistent. Yes, there are things that happen consistently every day, such as the sun rising and setting, school being in session, church happening, everyday miracles. But people are inconsistent. Ideas are inconsistent. Life is inconsistent. It's hard for me to accept this- I get an idea of how people are in my head, and when they don't end up like that in real life I get disappointed. Daydreaming is a bad thing for me to do. I mix the reality with the dream, and when reality isn't as good as the dream, things get ugly.
I'm not really sure what to do about it. Do I just stop having expectations? But then again, expectations are what push people, and myself, to get better. So maybe I'll just lower them. But some of them are already too low. I'm not sure what to make of things. But hopefully with some prayer, I can get through this time of disappointment brought on by inconsistency.

Oh How He Loves Us

The night sky is one of the things that shows God's unbeatable power and unrelenting love the most to me. As a friend so eloquently put it in a song she wrote, "how can you look at the sky and say that there is no God?". The beauty of the night never ceases to amaze me. The fact that the same God that created me created something that beautiful is unbelievable. But if it didn't all come from Him, where could it have come from? There's no other explanation.
Tonight I was able to sit under the stars with my guitar and worship the God of the universe. What a gift. God loves us. Just step outside and look at what He gave us to live in. This earth, this night, is all a gift from God. It magnifies His beauty and power, and lets us know He's there. Even if you don't feel him, He's in the earth. He's in the stars. He's everywhere.
A good friend asked if I would sing the song "He Loves Us" by John Mark McMillan. It goes like this:

"He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of the sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me."

If the night sky doesn't make you feel His love, I'm not sure what will. His glory shines, literally, with the stars. Praise God.

Change

The word on my mind today is change. There's so many changes that happen in life: changes in circumstances, changes in feelings, changes in beliefs, changes in everything. If I've learned anything in the past few years, it's been that people change. Whether we choose to accept it or not, no man is perfect. From the beginning, man chose sin. Yes, times have changed, but man is the same. God has been trying to teach me that we can't control other people's actions. So we have a choice: we can choose to forgive, or we can choose to live in pain. It should be easy, right? Just forgive. Well, easier said than done. We think that if we just pray hard enough and talk long enough, people will change again. I have long struggled with this idea, only to find out that people are going to make their own decisions, whether I agree with them or not. So what are we to do? Accept bad choices? Shrug the pain off? I, for one, have no idea. All I know is that change happens, and it can hurt. But people will make their own decisions. We just have to sit back and trust that God knows what He is doing with those changed souls. We can pray, ask for change, and ask for peace. Change is a hard thing sometimes. Luckily God is there to lead us through it every step of the way.

Blogging

I've always thought a blog would be fun. For someone who loves to write, and loves to share my beliefs and thoughts, it's perfect. So here goes nothing. While this might be neglected and may not be read by anyone but me, it's a way to get my thoughts out. So enjoy, and here's to new beginnings.