Vividly Blurry Visions

My first post since January 1. So much for New Years Resolutions, eh?

Every time I start to write, the words don't seem to want to come out. Therefore, I will blog through pictures today. These past 3 months have clarified a lot, and have made a lot even more blurry. My future is still uncertain, but there are a few things I can be excited about. Here they are. =)

NYC 2011- I am one of the lucky people to have the opportunity to go twice. 2007 was a completely life-changing experience. I cannot wait to see what God has to teach me this time. I can't think of a better way to start off the next chapter of my life. One thing I know for sure-God is going to be there. And I will be eagerly waiting to hear what He has to say to me.

NNU- My new home for the next 4 years of my life. As scary as it is to think about leaving everything I have ever known to go somewhere unknown, I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. God has paved the way for me to go. I'm excited to see what He has to teach me and how my life is going to change.

But before any of that...

Senior Ball-One of the last of my "once in a lifetime" high school experiences. The little girl inside of me can't wait to get all Cinderella-ed up for the ball with my Prince Charming.

Graduation-My last hoorah of high school. I'm extremely excited, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Something about saying goodbye to the people I've seen every day since third grade scares the daylights out of me. Even so, it is exciting to know that life is just beginning.

For now, those are the biggest events in my life. Pretty ordinary things, but about as exciting as it gets in the life of this ordinary 17-year-old.

I know I've said this before, but I really am going to try to write more. When I first started this blog, I thought it could be full of profound thoughts and mind-boggling epiphanies of mine. Since then, I've realized those don't come very often. So for now, it'll be a blog about my boring high school life. And if it's only for me to write and no one to read, I can live with that.

Until next time...

Happy New Year

I know it's been a while since I've written, but I figure the New Year is a good place to start again.

These past few months have come with a lot of changes, good and bad. I grew closer to God than I've ever been, and really became content with being me. I think after going to Guatemala and being so away from my life, I learned who I really am. I've become a much more happy and confident person. As a good friend said, I'm "turning into a more complete girl."

My future is becoming clearer and clearer every day. I've finally decided on a place to go in the fall, and it's exciting to know that I'm about to begin a dramatically new chapter of my life. I know that it's not going to be easy to leave my family and friends, but I know that God has a purpose for guiding me away.

This year to come is going to be full of changes. Changes in setting, mostly, but also changes in maturity. Graduating high school is a big step. I will have to be more independent and more grown up in my decisions. I know it won't be an easy transition, but I think I can do it.

I'm really excited to see what God has in store for this year. I know that He has something amazing planned for each one of us. So let the journey begin. Happy New Year, everyone.

Starfield!

So..last week I was able to go see Starfield (aka my favorite band ever!). It was the most amazing concert I've been to of theirs, and I had so much fun! It was my first time trying to take picures of a concert, but I think it worked pretty well. I was right up on the stage, which made it even better. So enjoy the pictures. =)

James, the bass player, who also played the accordian during the acoustic part. It was amazing!

So exciting! The best tour ever! I would encourage anyone to buy this CD..the lyrics and music in general are literally life changing. =)

A Day of Worship

Today has been just a crazy day.

This morning I woke up thinking about See You At the Pole-which of course I've never woken up early enough to go-but it came to my mind and I decided to join my fellow classmates in prayer for our school while in the comfort of my own home. As I was thinking about all those people at school and how few of us Jesus followers there are, I started thinking about the lukewarm. It has always scared me to be lukewarm. The passage about God spitting them out of his mouth--what a terrifying prospect. It shocks me every time I read how it's better to not know God at all than to know Him and be lukewarm. But I came to think about it, and realized that the lukewarm are what give Christians a bad name. I know lately I've been really frustrated with those who have chosen to live their lives in ways apart from God's Word, but prayer is all that we can do.

I started thinking about true worship and what it means to be a Jesus follower and a Christian. I've decided that my new definition of worship is this: to live my life in a way that people can tell who I serve. That way if they ever ask, nobody will be surprised to find out that I am a Christian. I don't want to be one of those people that speaks up at church and says, "my friends are always surprised when I tell them I'm a Christian. I think it's because I'm no different than them." The way I see it, that's not something to be proud of. I want people to take note of the fact that I am different, and that I love God with ALL my heart, mind, soul, and strength. So I spent the morning reading Romans 12:1-2. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world.

It was definitely a wonderful way to start the morning, and I was focused on worshiping God all day. Worshiping in absolutely every aspect of my life. God is so good.

Later in the day I got a phone call from a college that I have applied to. They offered me over a half ride scholarship solely based on academics. It was the craziest, most unexpected phone call I think I've ever gotten. I wasn't seriously considering this university; I just kind of applied on a whim. But now I'm wondering if God has other plans. My future is completely confused in my head at the moment, and I love it. I know that God is completely in control because I am choosing to worship and surrender. I'm on the craziest ride of my life, and all I can do is sit and enjoy. What college I go to and whatever happens after that is in God's hands, and it is the best feeling in the world.

The Fair

As most of you probably don't know, I absolutely love photography. Seeing as last week was the fair, it was the perfect chance to snap some good shots!

Changes, Changes, Changes

Lately I've been pretty overwhelmed just thinking about all the changes going on in my life. Coming back from Guatemala I was faced with so many changes: with my friends, family, church, school, everything. For the first week I barely even talked because it was just too hard to deal with it all. Now that I've adjusted a little bit to those things, I have started thinking about all the other changes coming up in my life.

In October I am planning my first college visit. It's all becoming real to me that I'm really growing up. Sometimes I have to think about getting in the car-it's even unreal that I can drive whoever, whenever, wherever I want. All my life all I've wanted is to grow up. Now that it's happening, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I'm really excited for all the things to come in my life. I'm more confused than I've ever been about what God's plans are, but atleast I can be more obedient without too many expectations. College is a mystery, and I know leaving will be very bittersweet, but I can't wait for the experience. I know I've got a year still before any of that happens, but sending in applications and planning visits is making it all more real. God is good, and I can't wait to see what He does with this life!

The Return

Well, I'm finally writing about the last week we spent in the beautiful Xela, Guatemala. Sorry for the wait!

We were sad to leave Zacapa because of all the amazing people and what they had taught us, but Adrienne and I were especially excited to get back to Xela. It had become like our new home the first 2 weeks we were there, and we were going to be able to return to our family.

On the way, we had to stop at the airport to pick up one member of the team and drop another off. Luckily, some of the family from Xela came and met us there. We were so excited to see them, and it was like we were back where we belonged. We got all situated in the cars, sadly with a little bit of conflict, but then we were on our way.

Some people in the group wanted to go to Antigua on the way, which lengthened the drive by about two hours, but also split it up. Antigua is the tourist center of Guatemala, and it is absolutely beautiful. Antigua in Spanish means "old" or "antique", and the town definitely lives up to its name. There are old buildings everywhere. Because it's so touristy, there are also shops everywhere, but they are filled with the most beautiful fabrics and colors I've ever seen. Adrienne and I weren't too interested in the shopping. We decided to stay and walk around with the family, which meant we got the natives' tour of the city. They knew where all the best views and landmarks were, and I was honored to go around with them. While we were there I was able to talk on the phone with Vicky, our honorary mom in Xela, who made sure to tell me there was banana bread on the table waiting for Adrienne and I. =)
After about an hour or so it was time to finish the trip to Xela. It was probably one of the longest car rides I've ever been on. There were landslides all over the roads, and the group hadn't experienced the curves of the Guatemalan roads yet, so it was definitely an adventure. But when we finally got there we knew we were home. All of the kids were standing outside with flowers, fireworks, and open arms. I think that was one of my favorite moments of the whole trip. All of the hugs and excitement for seeing everyone again was almost worth the leaving for a week. And Vicky wasn't lying..there was plenty of banana bread there for us!

The last week in Xela was one of the best and the hardest weeks of my life. We spent a whole lot of time with the family, but not as much time with the kids as we would have liked. When we walked back into el Hogar for the first time, all the kids ran over and gave us the biggest hugs ever. It was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. We were able to just hang out with them for a while, play guitar, and sing "Jesus Loves Me". All I can say about those kids is they are the strongest, most amazing kids I've ever met. Their stories are so sad..and we were able to learn more that last week and grow even closer to them. We spent a couple days with them that week, just hanging out at the park and playing with them. At church that Sunday we had all the kids there for the first time. They sang and gave a few testimonies in front of church, and it was very emotional for some of them.

Three kids, siblings, had just gotten to the home a few months before. They were Christians before they got to the home, but they were put into it because their mom had died and their dad was a drunk. They weren't even able to go to their mom's funeral because they were already in the government home. It explained so much when we heard that. Just the joy that radiates from them, despite their situations, is super humbling. They were Christians before, and they never lost faith. They can have peace because of the hope they have in Jesus.

We also had the privelege of giving our testimonies at church together. It was nice for the church to hear our stories after knowing us for a little while. They also learned our ages, which helped people a lot. At lunch with all the kids Adrienne was talking to the boys, and they were all making fun of one of them because he had a crush on me. (It was only me because I was younger.) Adrienne asked him how old he was and he was like..20. Probably one of the cutest kids alive. He became my special friend throughout the week. =)

When we weren't spending time with the kids, we were hanging out with the family. It was great having the experience of living with them for 2 weeks already, because when we got back it was like we were really family. Adrienne and I both connected with the kids more than we ever had, especially with the oldest boy, Pablo. He was pretty quiet the first 2 weeks we were there, especially when he didn't know us very well. However, when we were back for the last week, he was totally comfortable around us and didn't hold anything back. We joked a lot with eachother. One of the most fun parts of the whole week was when he taught us how to drive a stick shift. Adrienne had already driven a stick once, but for me it was the first time. For those of you who think it's hard to learn a stick, try learning it in Spanish on the roads in Guatemala. Plus the 18-year-old Pablo was way too confident that we could drive well, so he took us out on the roads right away. I went first. Let me restate that it was my FIRST time EVER driving a stick, and although I can hold a conversation in Spanish, my brain doesn't process it fluently, especially under pressure. He drove down the road a little, and then just said "your turn". I was honestly terrified that not everyone in that car would survive the night. So I drove for a little bit, and was finally getting the hang of it, when he said "ok now turn around." I thought I had misunderstood, but unfortunately he was serious. My heart started beating a million miles a minute, and I was trying to stay calm and understand what he was trying to tell me. It took me about 10 tries to finally get the car turned around. Luckily everyone was laughing the whole time, or it could have been a very ugly situation. Adrienne then took over the drivers seat and drove home perfectly...show off. When we got back upstairs with everyone Pablo proceeded to tell everyone about my driving and how there were 8 cars backed up just waiting for me to finish turning around. (He lied..there were only 3.) I don't think I'll ever live that one down..but he did let me drive again.

The Wednesday before we left the church went out for a special night of volleyball, as a kind of farewell game. Adrienne and I were of course stoked to go play one last time, and the night was great. The people in the church were so supportive and loving. I know that we will never forget them. Saying goodbye was hard, but I couldn't stay sad for long because Pablo let me drive home. I got us back without stalling..but of course I heard "I'm so glad we're still alive! Do you have all your fingers?" and such when we got back. Those boys became some of our best friends, and you can't have friends without having atleast some teasing.

Some other highlights of the week were Lake Atitlan and the government waterpark, Xocomil. I would love to tell you all about it..but this blog is already long enough. However, ask me in person, and the stories will come out. =)

The end of the week came way too quickly. We had to say goodbye to all the kids in the home and the family. They were some of the hardest goodbyes I've ever made. With the kids, I don't know if I'll ever see some of them again. Even if we were to go back to Guatemala, some of them might be in new homes or back with their families. I know Adrienne will agree with me that they are never far from our minds, and if you ever think about it, they need your prayers. Saying goodbye to the family was just as difficult. They truly have become our family, and I can only hope that we will be able to visit them again soon. Luckily we have been able to stay in contact with some of them, but it's more difficult with the language barrier.

Thank you all so much for supporting us through this trip. It was, hands down, the best experience of my life. There were definitely days I wanted to just go home, but those were the times I learned the most. The people we met changed me forever. I learned just how important God needs to be in my life, I learned how important relationships are, and I learned what love really is. God has become #1, family #2, other relationships #3, and everything else comes later. I know that the month we spent in Guatemala would not have been possible without all your support and prayers. I only hope that someday we can find a way to repay you.