Finding Me

Well, my Freshman year at NNU has come to a close, and I am so thankful for the opportunities that I've had thus far. It has been the most challenging year of my life, but also the most rewarding. I have made many new friends, who I know will be friends forever, and have learned important lessons about myself and life in general. 

The spring semester in specific was extremely difficult for me. I was no longer a scared little freshman coming in, but I was sure a confused one. I witnessed things that I never could have imagined. God revealed Himself like never before. My faith was pushed to new heights. But in the midst of all the big miracles and noise, I lost touch with the quiet voice of God. I was so intrigued by all the things He was doing that I took my focus off of the Maker Himself. 

I was given a reality check by those who know me the best: those at home. While I was being bombarded with all things extravagant, they were there to remind me that the little things are just as important. They grounded me and showed me that God really is that big, and there is no way we can understand Him, so we have to stay grounded in not knowing. 

That is what this year has consisted of. If anything, being here has taught me how little I know and how little I am. I am just a girl. There are millions of us out there. But, I am also a daughter of the King. Yes, there are just as many of us out there, but that is what makes us special. God has made us unique, and has crafted us specifically for one purpose. 

It's been an amazing year of discovering my purpose. I never would have thought that I would be on the path toward becoming a middle school music teacher, but here I am. God has laid out the way for me, and I can't wait to see what the next years hold. I never thought I would be in charge of a wing of girls and trying to decorate and plan events for them, but here I am. God has laid this task out before me, and it will be a year of stretching myself. I never thought I would be spending the summer singing throughout the northwest, but here I am. God has set this path before me, and it is about to begin. I never thought I would be where I am today. But I have learned that God is bigger than any of my thoughts, hopes or dreams. And still, the same God is small enough to care about those thoughts, hopes, and dreams. 

I have discovered me this year. I still have a long way to go, and I don't know what exactly my future holds, but I know who holds it. I can be confident in the fact that God has made me unique. I am a daughter of the King. I am one of many, but that is what makes me special. And that same fact makes each of us special. I pray that I can continue to live out this message as I seek to truly learn it myself. 

Filled

I started out this semester on a really bad foot. I wasn't ready to be back in Nampa; I wasn't ready to leave my family and friends behind again. When I got here, I was feeling sorry for myself. I felt alone. Now that I've been here a few weeks, I can't believe how ungrateful and blind I was. Last week was prayer and fasting week on campus, and every night consisted of a prayer meeting with an amazing group of students and a few faculty members. This week changed my life. I gained a family here. The people that I have grown to know have made me realize that God is truly always there. When I was complaining about not feeling like I had any close friends, I can just imagine God looking down at me saying, "really, Angela? You're going to say I haven't given you people? Look around." 


I feel as though I have discovered a whole new me this week. Although it's been exhausting and extremely busy, I have come to develop relationships that will always be there. I have had the opportunity to pray with most of the Freshman girls. I have had the opportunity to see people at their weakest for the glory of Christ. After this week, I feel as though I could not be any fuller. I am so blessed to be here in this place with these people who are so filled with the Spirit. God is moving here, and it is undeniable that something incredible is coming to this anointed generation. I can't wait to see what is to come! 

My Conversation with Myself

So, before I came to Idaho for college, everyone would tell me, "it gets cold there." I did not believe them. I thought it may get a little more chilly than the great state of California, but it couldn't be that bad, right? Wrong. I discovered today that the lovely state I grew up in truly is paradise: the land where your hair never freezes and it rarely gets below 30s. I was thinking a lot about this today, and I had a long conversation with myself about it. It went a little like this:


"You know, there's a reason why God created the Garden of Eden in a warm place."

"You're right. I mean, the people in the Bible lived in the desert. They probably never saw a speck of snow, and never had to wear jackets and sweatshirts."


"Right, I mean, God didn't create us for this kind of weather. When he created Adam and Eve, they were naked. That means they were warm enough to not be all bundled up."


"Exactly. So God really didn't make people to live in the snow. He made them to live where it's warm."


"That is precisely why the Garden of Eden was not in Idaho."


"Amen."


There was a little more to it than that, but that was the basics. I made myself feel much better about my complaining about this horrible freezing dry make-my-hair-dry-ice-on-the-way-to-class weather. 


Sorry for trying to think we were smarter than you, God. This wonderful college should probably move somewhere warmer. 


"With God, all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26. 

Top 10 Reasons I Know I'm No Longer in California

1. Weather. The other day I was walking down the street and it was snowing. If it snows in Auburn we get a snow day. People don't even notice here. Also, I say it's cold when it's like 50 degrees outside. I don't know how I will survive the 0 degree winters. 


2. Nobody knows about In-N-Out. Tragic, right? But many people have never even heard of it. This needs to be fixed. In-N-Out desperately needs to come to Idaho.


3. The Stench. For some reason, Nampa always either smells like poo or peanut butter. Why? I have no idea. But it's a problem. And when it rains, it doesn't smell like rain. It just makes the poo smell stronger.


4. The driving. I wouldn't say I'm the worst California driver there is, but come on. When the speed limit says 35, you don't have to be going 30. 


5. Boise State. Seriously...the whole state flashed orange and blue every day. I guess that's what happens when there isn't any pro teams anywhere nearby. 


6. The population. The county of Los Angeles has more people in it than the state of Idaho. Which means you can't go anywhere without seeing someone you know.


7. The laws. Normally, seeing someone drive a motorcycle without a helmet on or riding in the bed of a truck would be alarming. Not in Idaho, folks. 


8. The housing prices. I could rent a one bedroom house for $300 dollars a month here. A whole house. That might rent you a bathroom in California.


9. The area code. You don't have to worry about asking someone what their area code is here. The whole state of Idaho conveniently only has 1. California has 25. 


10. The spelling. Apparently Angela is spelled "Anjula" in Idaho.


The things I've learned from my college career thus far...

Life's Sweet Little Miracles

The cool thing about working in an ice cream shop is you get regulars. You see people who come in every week or just every once in a while, and you get little glimpses into their lives. And every once in a while through these glimpses you get to witness a miracle. 


There was a lady that always came in with her little daughter, probably about 3 years old, and she was very pregnant. They always sat together, just the two of them, talking about how they're the greatest pair. A couple weeks ago I saw the lady and her daughter, but this time she wasn't pregnant. She was holding a beautiful baby. Their pair had become a trio, and they never looked happier.


Today a lady came in with her adult daughter. I recognized the daughter more, but I knew that the mom had been with her before. Except the first time, the mom was wearing a scarf around her head because she had cancer or something like it. But today was different; today her hair was growing back. She looked happier and healthier than ever before. I felt honored to be the one to give her ice cream. It seemed too little an act to give such an amazing survivor. 


These people are strangers to me. I don't even know their names. But having the privilege of serving them a scoop of ice cream every once in a while reminds me why I'm here. It reminds me to appreciate the little things in life. It reminds me how God works. He is a God of miracles, and I am honored to be able to witness His work, even if it is just through a local ice cream shop.

The Calm Before and After the Storm

Senior Ball: check. Graduation: check. Family celebrations: check. All the festivities and excitement of the last part of Senior Year are over. The finals, the check-outs, the parties, the milestones. The chaos of having grandparents and siblings and nieces and friends all in my humble little house has ended, and now comes the time to breathe. Well, kind of. 

Now that the last set of grandparents has come and gone, the house is quiet, and it gives me time to think about all of the things ahead. I am now in my last summer before my life changes forever. Soon I'll be packing up my room and heading for Idaho, away from everything I've ever known. 

I know that it's a normal part of life, and many people have gone through it, but living it cannot compare to hearing about it. Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of leaving. Maybe it'll be as easy as everyone says. Either way, the bottom line is: I'm terrified. 

The same fears I had before leaving for Guatemala are creeping back up. I'm beginning to doubt whether this is really what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm afraid people won't like me, or I won't like them. I'm afraid I'll get too homesick and leave before I have the chance to get comfortable there. I'm moving out of my comfort zone, and it's a scary thing to do.

Don't get me wrong, there's definitely excitement about it all. But the fears are there too. This is a new chapter in my life. And I can't stop thinking about everything changing. 

For now, this is the calm, but I can see the storm coming. I just hope I can have the strength to praise Him in the storm. 

Vividly Blurry Visions

My first post since January 1. So much for New Years Resolutions, eh?

Every time I start to write, the words don't seem to want to come out. Therefore, I will blog through pictures today. These past 3 months have clarified a lot, and have made a lot even more blurry. My future is still uncertain, but there are a few things I can be excited about. Here they are. =)

NYC 2011- I am one of the lucky people to have the opportunity to go twice. 2007 was a completely life-changing experience. I cannot wait to see what God has to teach me this time. I can't think of a better way to start off the next chapter of my life. One thing I know for sure-God is going to be there. And I will be eagerly waiting to hear what He has to say to me.

NNU- My new home for the next 4 years of my life. As scary as it is to think about leaving everything I have ever known to go somewhere unknown, I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. God has paved the way for me to go. I'm excited to see what He has to teach me and how my life is going to change.

But before any of that...

Senior Ball-One of the last of my "once in a lifetime" high school experiences. The little girl inside of me can't wait to get all Cinderella-ed up for the ball with my Prince Charming.

Graduation-My last hoorah of high school. I'm extremely excited, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Something about saying goodbye to the people I've seen every day since third grade scares the daylights out of me. Even so, it is exciting to know that life is just beginning.

For now, those are the biggest events in my life. Pretty ordinary things, but about as exciting as it gets in the life of this ordinary 17-year-old.

I know I've said this before, but I really am going to try to write more. When I first started this blog, I thought it could be full of profound thoughts and mind-boggling epiphanies of mine. Since then, I've realized those don't come very often. So for now, it'll be a blog about my boring high school life. And if it's only for me to write and no one to read, I can live with that.

Until next time...